Dec 17, 2011

So, we are officially on Christmas break. Although, it's been pretty busy so far. We spent Friday night at Bible study with a few other families. The kids had such a great time playing. And we enjoyed the fellowship and discussion time. We didn't get the kids into bed until almost 11:00.

Saturday morning, Jasmin came in at 8:30 to announce the snow. She was so excited. Some of the kids' friends stopped by to play in the snow. So, out the kiddos went. They played for about an hour before they were cold enough to come in. Both kids had birthday parties to go to as well. They were in two different cities, but since the parents lived in our neighborhood, they said they would take them for us. :) Eric and I went table shopping. No such luck though.

When the kids got home we ate pizza and watch Kung Fu Panda 2. Good day in all.

I'm looking forward to some family time. Things have been super crazy lately, so it will be nice to do a bunch of nothing together. We do have a few things planned for vacation. Chuck e cheese, Legoland, maybe lunch out. But mostly it will be a lot of relaxing and hopefully enjoying each other.

Sick day

So, I'm feeling rather pathetic right now. And pretty whiny. Thought I would whine to my computer. Although, I just found out it hurts to type, so this should be short. I started feeling tired Halloween night. I woke up the next day exhausted and achy with a sore throat. I thought doing nothing yesterday would help. I only did the laundry, dishes, and dinner. Sat around most of the day. It didn't really help. Jasmin is being really sweet today though. I put a movie on for her just a bit ago. She played nicely for over two hours this morning, though.

I did muster up enough energy last night to make dinner and take Dylan to karate. I was in bed before 9. So, I have to miss Awana tonight. I hate leaving them short a leader. I'll drop the kids off and then go home. Eric said he would take them home.

Halloween

Busy day today. Jasmin and I helped out at Dylan's school party. I was just amazed with how they let Jasmin participate. She really had a wonderful time. All the kids did. It was quite tiring for me, though.

We did trick or treating about an hour about getting home. We ended up going with the family we carpool with. The kids all had a great time. We even had a few trick or treaters come to our door. That's rare for us. The kids had fun passing out candy. Finally, our neighbor stopped by with her two year old. We visited for a little bit. All in all, a really nice day.

The kids new mattresses come tomorrow. I was able to find bed frames at the local thrift store, so we're all set! Looking forward to getting them all set up.

On a completely different note, I was chatting with some folks from church on Sunday. They were asking about my background. I mentioned my more conservative history. More conservative in dress and music especially. The words legalistic floated around. Now, no one was calling me that, but suggested that sometimes it appears legalistic. Those types of standards, that is. Funny thing is, when I was more on the conservative side, we looked at those who were not as not being completely with God. Not sure if that makes sense. But from having two different perspectives, it's amazing how Christians can do each other in. Not sure if my rambling makes sense. :)

October 19, 2001

My brother just had his first child yesterday--technically his wife did, but you know what I mean. So excited for him. They will both make great parents. The delivery was long and stressful for both and she ended up with a C section. But he says she's recovering well.

One of the first questions my brother texted me was "should I tell dad and how?" How sad for my father. That my brother had to ask that question and that I actually understood how he felt. Anyway, I gave him his cell phone and suggested he leave a message. I pray that I will never get so bitter in my life that I cut my children and even grandchildren off. God help me keep short accounts!

Also, I felt so sad for my brother. One of the happiest days of his life and he has to "go there"--he has to even think about it.

I'll have to post a picture of little Stephen and Dylan side by side (as a newborn). They look so much alike!

October 13, 2011

The "diet" hasn't been going too well. I did okay for four days, then there was a birthday party. Haha! Then, there was four days of "oh who cares!". Now I'm trying to get back on the band wagon. But I'm hungry right now. I may just go to bed before 9 because then I won't be hungry. That's how I did it when I was pregnant. :)

Next weekend, I should be trekking to Ohio to see my soon to be born nephew! Jasmin and I are taking the trip alone. Looking forward to meeting this little miracle. We'll see how Jasmin does as well. I'm sure she'll brag to Dylan that she got to meet little Stephen.

Oct 5, 2011

Today I got on the scale and saw very bad news. Actually, it's a huge wake up call. I don't really exercise, except that sporadic 15 minutes I guilt myself into occasionally. And I have been eating out and eating pretty much whatever I want=extra weight. :( I've been trying to tell myself that my clothes are getting tighter, I'm just washing them differently. :)

So, I'm trying to be serious about weight loss. I have loss weight before and kept most of it off. But the past two years, I have slowly put some back on. So, tonight I made turkey tacos. And I even skipped the tortilla shells. Boring discussion about my food, I know.

Sept 30, 2011

Tonight I had a great time on a hayride/bonfire with the ladies from my church. Met some new people and got to get to know some people better. These ladies have welcomed me into their "inner circle" so easily and warmly. And they have a vibrancy for God that I feel I'm lacking.

On a side note, there was a lady there that recently left the church mainly because she wanted one closer to home. But she came tonight and we fellowshipped. I, though, I don't know anyone truly well, believed that she was included in every way even though she had "left" the church. I think of our recent church switch. I realize the terms were very different, but it makes me so sad that I feel awkward around those fellow believers. There is one particular lady who I looked up to as a mentor. I always called her for advice. You see, my mother is gone. So, I looked to this lady for that help. I still sometimes get the urge to call her, but I can't. We are one in Christ, but not on this earth I guess. Think I'll have a bit of a cry. Which makes no sense since I wasn't down until I wrote this post. Way to overthink and ruin a good night. Lol.

Sept 24, 2011

We had a very busy week. Jasmin had her fifth birthday on Thursday. We had a great day. We started the day at Denny's, then got our toes polished. We ate lunch at Burger King. Jasmin played in the play area while I read a book. Then, she had a great time at swim class. After we picked Dylan up from school, I surprised both kids with a horse ride. A friend let us brush, feed, and then ride her horse. The kids had so much fun and have been asking to go back. :) We ended the day at Nick's pizza. Super fun day.

We did Jasmin's birthday party today at my inlaws. The cousins had decorated the house for her. So sweet. She really loved it. We did the usual hanging out and talking. The kids played. Can't say how much I love having all Eric's family together again. After we ate, did presents, and did cake, my nephew Ethan built a fire outside. We sat around and talked around the fire. I almost cried thinking how wonderful it is to have family like this.

I am very fortunate. I get along with each of my brothers/sisters spouses. Same thing on Eric's side. It makes me even sadder sometime to think of my dad who chooses not to include himself in our lives. I know we all make our own choices. I thank God for the family that does want to be a part of us.

Someone recently told me that they are putting their energy and time into the people that do the same for them. Not to say that you cut people off, just that you invest in those who want that investment. I'll have to say that as I get older, I agree with this.

Sept 19, 2011

Things are pretty busy over here. Dylan had a great first week. Praising God for that. He, also, lost his transponder, but praise God, I found it today!

This is Jasmin's birthday week! She turns five on Thursday. So, we hung out with some good friends today. I think we're going to playdate at the park tomorrow after Bible study. Wednesday we're off to the outlet mall. Thursday is the big day! I really want things to slow down a bit during the day. I love just hanging with Jasmin as home. Hopefully, after this week, that will happen.

So, I went through a small rough patch a few weeks ago. I think I'm coming out of it. I do think some of my "issues" are hormonal. Never got this depressed before Jasmin. I don't know if depressed is the right word...more like discouragement....a feeling of being overwhelmed. Anyway, doing better now. I'm figuring out it takes time, prayer, and busy work. Lol.

Sept 13, 2011

Dylan now has two days of school under his belt. I think he's adjusting well, but I sense an undercurrent of something. He was talking today about some thing a kid said: In your face! That's what the kid said. Dylan thought it sounded mean. Yep, it probably was a little bit, but the kid was also trying to be funny. Try explaining that to an eight year old! The two boys he met before school are being great to him, so that's a comfort. Of course, trying to get info from that child is near impossible.

We did have a bit of a homework struggle tonight. Only a slight bit of a meltdown from Dylan. I'm not even sure if it was actually homework, or work he didn't finish during the day. But either way, it got done.

Jasmin has been quite the trooper. Doesn't seem to bother her that Dylan is in school and she's not. We've been pretty busy, though. I was going to chill out tomorrow, but Kohl's sent me some great coupons so shopping for me!

September 11, 2011

Dylan starts his new school tomorrow. He's a bit nervous. Actually, very nervous. Poor kid. I put him to bed at 7:30ish. He's still awake up there. He does know a few kids, so I'm praying he'll connect well. Of course, I want him to have the best education possible, but I also want him to enjoy his school. I want him to have friends and laughs and inside jokes, etc. etc.

Jasmin....I'm not sure she completely "gets" that she's not going to school.....Next week might be rough. LOL. I plan to keep her too busy to think about it! We'll see if that works. I figure, she can't really scream for the entire school year, right? Right?

Our church just started up with all their children's programs. They had lunch to eat and inflatables for the kids and even some games with prizes. The kids had a great time. We're excited about what they are going to learn, especially in Awana.

I'm also starting with two different Bible studies. It's hard to explain, but I still feel a bit of disconnect at church. The people are great, but I don't feel completely plugged in. Sometimes I just feel so awkward going. Only time will help that, I know.

I had a bit of a pity party this weekend. Just feel like I can't keep things caught up around the house. And I lose patience with the kids. Feel like a less than wonderful mom/wife. And then I think about what the anniversary of today is, and I know that I am whining about such stupid things.

July 5, 2011

Yesterday we spent most of the day with Eric's family. We had a great time just relaxing. I love talking with my sister in law. And the two little girls played super nice together which was a treat.
We were able to come home for a bit before we headed right back out for fireworks. We tried the Sleepy Hollow fireworks for the first time, and we pleased with them. Although, we decided we would come later next year. The kids enjoyed the show even though they watched most of it in the car due to the noise level.

The next day, the kids (and parents) woke up tired and cranky. Several fights later, the kids and I left the house. We ate a late lunch at Benihana's. Then, spent an hour feeding the ducks and playing at the splash park in Schaumburg. We ended the fun of the day with a trip to Woodfield mall to do the mini Lego build. The line was a bit long, but it moved pretty quickly.

Then, the ride home. That's where it went down hill. Almost immediately, the kids started begging for Wii/TV. I've been hearing a lot of this lately. Dylan finally said that his favorite part of the day was not playing Wii. He was being quite sarcastic. So, no Wii for awhile for the kids. I got home stressed and frustrated. Some days your kids remind you how inadequate you are. How much you need to rely on God. My prayers have not been sufficient to my task. :)

June 10, 2011

This weekend our village had garage sales. I got some good deals. I found Dylan a almost brand new 20 inch bike for $30. I paid a little more than I wanted to originally, but the bike was like new and it had all the extras we were looking for. Dylan, who wasn't very interested in having a bike, is loving it! At first, he was having trouble getting started on his own. The bike is a bit too tall for him. I was in the middle of washing the inside of my car. I told him I would help when I was done--I had already been interrupted so much. :) He didn't wait, though. He worked it out himself. Within 5 minutes, he was riding around by himself.

I also found myself several pair of shorts. Two of which I really really like. The other 3 are just okay. But, for $2.75, not too bad. I found some various little toys for the kids, snow boots, cleats. Just random stuff that adds up.

We've stayed pretty busy since summer break has started. Tomorrow we are going to Pirates and eating at Red Robin for Dylan's early birthday.

I starting going to a home ladies Bible study on Monday nights. So far, so good. I think it will be nice to get to know some more Christian ladies in the neighborhood.

Next week is Dylan's birthday. We're planning a Dolphin's Cove trip with some good friends. Then the next day Grandma will be taking them to the zoo or aquarium. I think maybe we'll take a day to chill out after that. Hopefully. :)

June 2, 2011

I'm having one of those nights. My thoughts seem so negative tonight. First of my complaints, I've been trying to lose the rest of the "baby" weights for 3 years now. I did great for awhile. I lost 60 pounds at least. But I have plateaued now for 3 years. Actually, I gained at least 8 pounds back. :( I have absolutely no willpower and I hate to exercise. But I've noticed lately that when I walk with my super fast sister in law, I get winded. Man can she go! So, I downloaded an app for exercise. We'll see what happens. I'm not optimistic. Yep, that's the mood I'm in tonight.

My poor little girl had the stomach flu last week. So, I didn't give her any laxative. She usually gets a little bit everyday. Well, now she's so constipated she's crying out in her sleep every 30 minutes or so. I have to go change her. She doesn't even wake up when I do. Poor tired little girl. Hopefully the issue will clear up by tomorrow. There was quite a bit of crying today.

I'm really tired, but I figure if I go to bed I'll just get woken up again. I'm not upset with her at all. It's really my fault that she's suffering.

God's mercies are new each morning! Praise God. Tomorrow is a new day.

So far our summer is going not too bad. The kids have been fighting a bit. Just getting used to spending so much time together. But we kept pretty busy this week. Tomorrow's supposed to be a scorcher, so out comes the kiddie pool and water guns. :)

On a wonderful side note, I found out the other day that I have a nephew coming in October. Can't wait to meet him. Dylan was super excited the baby's a boy!

May 24, 2011

Jasmin seems to be over most of the stomach stuff. I risked letting her go to school today. She's not contagious and she really wanted to go. Top that with the fact that there is only two days left, I caved. :) She did great at school and we even spent an hour outside when we got home. She ate a bit of noodles and then passed out on the couch at 5:30. She's already in bed. Here's to hoping she's sleeps until morning.

School ending this week. I'm looking forward to summer. I enjoy the lazy days. Staying in our pjs until noon. Spur of the moment trips to the zoo. So, we don't have any specific plans. I do have LOTS of ideas. My only concern is the kids fighting. They seem to be doing that a lot lately. I guess they'll get used to each other eventually.

May 23, 2011

Still learning that parenthood is filled with little decisions day in and day out. Today, I chose to give Jasmin a little bit of egg because she didn't want anything else and she was begging. She had been doing so much better. Well, she fell asleep and woke up awhile later. She went downhill from there. She threw up again twice. I feel so bad for giving her the egg. Trying not to beat myself up over it.

So, she'll miss yet another day of school tomorrow. :(

May 22, 2011

I can't sleep right now. I think it's because I took an accidental cat nap while snuggling Jasmin this afternoon. She's been sick for two days now. She takes after her father. They both seem hold on to the stomach bug longer than Dylan or me. She napped earlier in the morning and she has been asleep since 5:30 this afternoon. I know the sleep will do her good. I just wish she were able to eat and drink. She's had a bit of rice and a bit of soup. That's all for two days. She's not drinking much either. I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

In other news, we joined our new church this evening. I couldn't be there, but Eric went to the meeting. Still feels a bit strange. I still miss the sense of family at our previous church. It's kind of hard to explain.

This is the last week of school. Thank goodness! This has been a difficult year for Dylan especially. His teacher just didn't "get" him. I'm sure she's a great teacher to most kids, but she was the best for him. On that note, I better try to sleep. I do have to get Dylan up in the morning.

Jasmin and I are camping out on the couches again tonight. It just makes middle of the night sickness issues easier to deal with.

May 17, 2011

I have been reading the book "So long insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us" by Beth Moore.

Tonight I had coffee with a very sweet lady from church. I enjoyed talking with her so much. On the way home, I started thinking about our conversation. Then, I started worrying that perhaps I said the wrong thing here or there. So, back to the book I am reading.....I really struggle with insecurity in relationships. I have struggled with it most of my life, but in the past few years some strained close relationships has kinda sent me over the edge. It occurred to me just a few weeks ago that God has blessed me with some great friends. So, if those wonderful women seek my company, I can't be all that bad. :) And if my wonderful husband puts up with me, I can't be all that bad.

But I am trying to reconnect with the most important "opinion". God's opinion of me. He created me a certain way. He created me more shy, introverted, and reserved. That doesn't mean I don't love to have a good time, to talk, to laugh, to be part of a group. All that to say...I'm starting to be at peace with the person God has created me to be. I do want to push myself to meet new people, to try new things. But I want to rest in the fact that God loves me just as I am. I want to stop over thinking my words. I doubt if anyone else considers them as much as I do.

April 2, 2011

We have made the decision concerning Dylan's school next year. He will be going to a local charter school. While the hours are longer, we are all excited about the variety of teaching at the school. They really seem to have a flexibility in their teaching approach. There was an opportunity to send Jasmin for kindergarten this year. But due to the long day (it would be full day), we decided to keep her home this coming year. That was the original plan anyway. It's the last year with my baby, so I plan to try to enjoy it. That's easy to say in the abstract, but I know that I need to take the extra effort each day, each hour, each moment.

This week was spring break for our family. We truly enjoyed our time together. We relaxed a lot, hung out with great friends, and had lunch with Grandpa. We also enjoyed a trip to Rockford to the Discovery Center. While we were in town we went to the Burpee Natural History Museum. We weren't too impressed by it. By the Discovery center is always a hit. We ended that particular day with a trip to Culver's for ice cream and fries.

The last day of vacation we had some close friends stop by for pizzas and games. The kids then spent the Sat and Sun with their grandparents. It's going to be hard to go back to the routine! But less than two months and it's summer!

March 22, 2011

Today we visited the charter school Dylan will be attending next year. I'm very excited about their approach to learning. However, the hours are 8 to 3:30. Such a long day. I have this irrational desire for my kids to not go to school. I want them to learn and be the best God would have them, but I want to be able to hang out with them all day. Of course, I realize that they need school. It's just the first step away from me.

There is a second decision on the table. Jasmin will meet the cut off date to go to K5 at the charter school. We had already decided not to send her next year because she missed the cut off date by 3 weeks. The charter school cuts off at December. So, should we send her? We're praying. I think she would love it, but I selfishly want to keep her home with me for another year.

January 31, 2011

I haven't really blogged in awhile, although I keep meaning to. So, here goes. The past few months have been quite busy. We've been getting settled into a new church. We are loving the people there and the message. Eric has gotten involved in orchestra and now choir. I have been going to some of the ladies meetings, etc. For me, it has been a struggle getting to know people, but that most due to my introverted nature and not a reflection on the church body.

The kids are doing well. Dylan is loving piano; although, I would like to find a different teacher. I would term this one adequate. We've taken a break from activities since Thanksgiving which has been nice. But tomorrow the kids start swim lessons up again. This will be Jasmin's first "no parent" class. She's very excited. We've decided to skip preschool for her next year as well. I know she'll miss it, but we need a year to be together before she goes off to school. Speaking of school.....Dylan has really been struggling this year. Not so much academically, but with his focus and attention. His teacher, while a good teacher, isn't really flexible to teaching him. Of course, she has 30 kids in her class! So, we've looked into a nearby charter school. We're praying they will have a spot for him this next school year.

For me, I'm starting to realize that I've never been truly comfortable with the person I am. I always want to be more of this, more like that person. I am not really an outgoing person, and that is probably one of my greatest struggles. The radio station I listen to challenged you to pick one word to focus on this year. To strive for. I have picked joy. I want to be joyous in everything, especially the person God created me to be.

Coming up in our lives is a Dells trip. None of us have been there, so we are super excited. We are staying two nights and three days at a water park resort. I know the kids will have such a great time. And their parents are looking forward to getting away for a bit. :)