May 17, 2011

I have been reading the book "So long insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us" by Beth Moore.

Tonight I had coffee with a very sweet lady from church. I enjoyed talking with her so much. On the way home, I started thinking about our conversation. Then, I started worrying that perhaps I said the wrong thing here or there. So, back to the book I am reading.....I really struggle with insecurity in relationships. I have struggled with it most of my life, but in the past few years some strained close relationships has kinda sent me over the edge. It occurred to me just a few weeks ago that God has blessed me with some great friends. So, if those wonderful women seek my company, I can't be all that bad. :) And if my wonderful husband puts up with me, I can't be all that bad.

But I am trying to reconnect with the most important "opinion". God's opinion of me. He created me a certain way. He created me more shy, introverted, and reserved. That doesn't mean I don't love to have a good time, to talk, to laugh, to be part of a group. All that to say...I'm starting to be at peace with the person God has created me to be. I do want to push myself to meet new people, to try new things. But I want to rest in the fact that God loves me just as I am. I want to stop over thinking my words. I doubt if anyone else considers them as much as I do.