Sept 30, 2011

Tonight I had a great time on a hayride/bonfire with the ladies from my church. Met some new people and got to get to know some people better. These ladies have welcomed me into their "inner circle" so easily and warmly. And they have a vibrancy for God that I feel I'm lacking.

On a side note, there was a lady there that recently left the church mainly because she wanted one closer to home. But she came tonight and we fellowshipped. I, though, I don't know anyone truly well, believed that she was included in every way even though she had "left" the church. I think of our recent church switch. I realize the terms were very different, but it makes me so sad that I feel awkward around those fellow believers. There is one particular lady who I looked up to as a mentor. I always called her for advice. You see, my mother is gone. So, I looked to this lady for that help. I still sometimes get the urge to call her, but I can't. We are one in Christ, but not on this earth I guess. Think I'll have a bit of a cry. Which makes no sense since I wasn't down until I wrote this post. Way to overthink and ruin a good night. Lol.

Sept 24, 2011

We had a very busy week. Jasmin had her fifth birthday on Thursday. We had a great day. We started the day at Denny's, then got our toes polished. We ate lunch at Burger King. Jasmin played in the play area while I read a book. Then, she had a great time at swim class. After we picked Dylan up from school, I surprised both kids with a horse ride. A friend let us brush, feed, and then ride her horse. The kids had so much fun and have been asking to go back. :) We ended the day at Nick's pizza. Super fun day.

We did Jasmin's birthday party today at my inlaws. The cousins had decorated the house for her. So sweet. She really loved it. We did the usual hanging out and talking. The kids played. Can't say how much I love having all Eric's family together again. After we ate, did presents, and did cake, my nephew Ethan built a fire outside. We sat around and talked around the fire. I almost cried thinking how wonderful it is to have family like this.

I am very fortunate. I get along with each of my brothers/sisters spouses. Same thing on Eric's side. It makes me even sadder sometime to think of my dad who chooses not to include himself in our lives. I know we all make our own choices. I thank God for the family that does want to be a part of us.

Someone recently told me that they are putting their energy and time into the people that do the same for them. Not to say that you cut people off, just that you invest in those who want that investment. I'll have to say that as I get older, I agree with this.

Sept 19, 2011

Things are pretty busy over here. Dylan had a great first week. Praising God for that. He, also, lost his transponder, but praise God, I found it today!

This is Jasmin's birthday week! She turns five on Thursday. So, we hung out with some good friends today. I think we're going to playdate at the park tomorrow after Bible study. Wednesday we're off to the outlet mall. Thursday is the big day! I really want things to slow down a bit during the day. I love just hanging with Jasmin as home. Hopefully, after this week, that will happen.

So, I went through a small rough patch a few weeks ago. I think I'm coming out of it. I do think some of my "issues" are hormonal. Never got this depressed before Jasmin. I don't know if depressed is the right word...more like discouragement....a feeling of being overwhelmed. Anyway, doing better now. I'm figuring out it takes time, prayer, and busy work. Lol.

Sept 13, 2011

Dylan now has two days of school under his belt. I think he's adjusting well, but I sense an undercurrent of something. He was talking today about some thing a kid said: In your face! That's what the kid said. Dylan thought it sounded mean. Yep, it probably was a little bit, but the kid was also trying to be funny. Try explaining that to an eight year old! The two boys he met before school are being great to him, so that's a comfort. Of course, trying to get info from that child is near impossible.

We did have a bit of a homework struggle tonight. Only a slight bit of a meltdown from Dylan. I'm not even sure if it was actually homework, or work he didn't finish during the day. But either way, it got done.

Jasmin has been quite the trooper. Doesn't seem to bother her that Dylan is in school and she's not. We've been pretty busy, though. I was going to chill out tomorrow, but Kohl's sent me some great coupons so shopping for me!

September 11, 2011

Dylan starts his new school tomorrow. He's a bit nervous. Actually, very nervous. Poor kid. I put him to bed at 7:30ish. He's still awake up there. He does know a few kids, so I'm praying he'll connect well. Of course, I want him to have the best education possible, but I also want him to enjoy his school. I want him to have friends and laughs and inside jokes, etc. etc.

Jasmin....I'm not sure she completely "gets" that she's not going to school.....Next week might be rough. LOL. I plan to keep her too busy to think about it! We'll see if that works. I figure, she can't really scream for the entire school year, right? Right?

Our church just started up with all their children's programs. They had lunch to eat and inflatables for the kids and even some games with prizes. The kids had a great time. We're excited about what they are going to learn, especially in Awana.

I'm also starting with two different Bible studies. It's hard to explain, but I still feel a bit of disconnect at church. The people are great, but I don't feel completely plugged in. Sometimes I just feel so awkward going. Only time will help that, I know.

I had a bit of a pity party this weekend. Just feel like I can't keep things caught up around the house. And I lose patience with the kids. Feel like a less than wonderful mom/wife. And then I think about what the anniversary of today is, and I know that I am whining about such stupid things.